Find Unique Gift Ideas that Reflect Your Relationship or Best Suit the Recipient
Focus on Your Relationship with the Recipient to Find a Fitting Gift
No matter who your gift is for, focusing on the person is bound to help
you come up with a unique gift idea that is sure to please and delight.
Are you looking for a birthday gift for Mom? Something special for a friend? A unique shower gift for your daughter-in-law? Something cool for the best man? An anniversary gift for your parents? Something memorable for your grandson’s graduation? A Christmas present for your boyfriend?
First, put yourself in their shoes. The hardest part about choosing a gift is that what appeals to us might not interest or flatter the other person! Some of us are good guessers, but it’s hard to keep a perfect score. One way to avoid the drama is to ask the person directly—“What do you want for your birthday this year, Mom?” or in some other way try to draw out what would make them happy, content—you fill in the blank.
Of course, this approach can lead to problems, especially if expectations aren’t met or if the underlying assumption is that you can read minds! These disappointments are part of the realities and foibles of human nature and our inability to communicate perfectly. But, it is our love, affection, and desire to bring happiness to another that keeps us looking for the perfect gift, because we want to “say it right.” And, in their own way, our gifts to each other communicate the interpersonal—those feelings that are sometimes so hard to put into words.
No matter what the occasion, the most important element of the gift selection process is the person your gift is for. You want a gift to have meaning for the recipient and to be fitting to your relationship—to reflect the emotions and thoughts you want to share with them on their special day. That ability, to dig deep within the alchemy of relationship for something that gives personal meaning and elicits delight, is what makes the search so challenging and the solution so rewarding when the right formula emerges.
Visioning the Recipient Exercise
So, if you need a little help with gift ideas, spend a few minutes brainstorming about the person. Most of us do this naturally, but sometimes, when you’re stuck or short on time, structuring the process can get the creative juices flowing. First, visualize the person in order to recall past times together, things that have special meaning, things about them that you love and appreciate.
Who are they? What are they like? How would you describe them? Even the personality quirks! What delights them? Makes them happy or content? What pleases them? Try to recall previous gifts they received and think about those experiences. Were there favorites? Duds? What aspects of the gift experience brought them the most pleasure or satisfaction? Was it something little or big? Expensive or handmade? Experiential or tangible? To wear? To eat? To do? To try? Have they recently mentioned something they want or need? Can you remember anything they might have admired or wanted to try the last time you were together?
“Why go through this type of exercise?” you might be saying. Well, you’re looking for clues. You’re trying to hone in on one particular person, to visualize him or her in your mind, and to gather all the knowledge you have stored about them in terms of likes/dislikes, character, interests, style, activities, items you know they want to need, or to evoke fond memories of something shared.
Next, as you envision the person in your mind, search for an idea, interest, or preference that just might hint at a particular direction you can use for “just the right gift.” Jot down ideas as they come to mind if you want.
List Recipient Qualities and Characteristics
We started some general lists describing people's qualities or charactieristics to help further brainstorming on your end.
First, put yourself in their shoes. The hardest part about choosing a gift is that what appeals to us might not interest or flatter the other person! Some of us are good guessers, but it’s hard to keep a perfect score. One way to avoid the drama is to ask the person directly—“What do you want for your birthday this year, Mom?” or in some other way try to draw out what would make them happy, content—you fill in the blank.
Of course, this approach can lead to problems, especially if expectations aren’t met or if the underlying assumption is that you can read minds! These disappointments are part of the realities and foibles of human nature and our inability to communicate perfectly. But, it is our love, affection, and desire to bring happiness to another that keeps us looking for the perfect gift, because we want to “say it right.” And, in their own way, our gifts to each other communicate the interpersonal—those feelings that are sometimes so hard to put into words.
No matter what the occasion, the most important element of the gift selection process is the person your gift is for. You want a gift to have meaning for the recipient and to be fitting to your relationship—to reflect the emotions and thoughts you want to share with them on their special day. That ability, to dig deep within the alchemy of relationship for something that gives personal meaning and elicits delight, is what makes the search so challenging and the solution so rewarding when the right formula emerges.
Visioning the Recipient Exercise
So, if you need a little help with gift ideas, spend a few minutes brainstorming about the person. Most of us do this naturally, but sometimes, when you’re stuck or short on time, structuring the process can get the creative juices flowing. First, visualize the person in order to recall past times together, things that have special meaning, things about them that you love and appreciate.
Who are they? What are they like? How would you describe them? Even the personality quirks! What delights them? Makes them happy or content? What pleases them? Try to recall previous gifts they received and think about those experiences. Were there favorites? Duds? What aspects of the gift experience brought them the most pleasure or satisfaction? Was it something little or big? Expensive or handmade? Experiential or tangible? To wear? To eat? To do? To try? Have they recently mentioned something they want or need? Can you remember anything they might have admired or wanted to try the last time you were together?
“Why go through this type of exercise?” you might be saying. Well, you’re looking for clues. You’re trying to hone in on one particular person, to visualize him or her in your mind, and to gather all the knowledge you have stored about them in terms of likes/dislikes, character, interests, style, activities, items you know they want to need, or to evoke fond memories of something shared.
Next, as you envision the person in your mind, search for an idea, interest, or preference that just might hint at a particular direction you can use for “just the right gift.” Jot down ideas as they come to mind if you want.
List Recipient Qualities and Characteristics
We started some general lists describing people's qualities or charactieristics to help further brainstorming on your end.
- Personality: artsy, doer, thinker, organizer, dreamer
- Descriptors: adventurous, bohemian, outdoorsy, professional, couch potato
- Style: classic, creative, modern, casual, romantic
- Interests: history, architecture, fashion, design, art, music, theater, philosophy, animals, nature
- Hobbies: photography, travel, gardening, old cars, boating, investing, computers, electronics
- Active things: climbing, skiing, camping, surfing, rollerblading, waterskiing, swimming
- Making things: puttering in the shop, cooking, crafts, sewing, knitting, d-i-y home improvement
- Thinking things: book club, writing, poetry, chess, gaming, movie buff, critic
- Creative things: play instrument, painting, sculpting, moviemaking, blogging, designing
- Organizing things: teach classes, school or church involvement, neighborhood watch, politics
- Doing things: working out, biking, decorating, playing sports, coaching
- Social things: card group, sports events, entertaining, club membership
